Let’s be honest. Once we get past the fancies of school and college, we make fewer friends and more connections. But people will forget you or loosen ties with you if you are of no value to them. And there is nothing selfish in doing so because the relationship you share with people is based on the value each party derives from that relationship. If there’s no value, there’s no relationship.
Being a valuable connection does not only hold on to your earlier connections but also attracts more connections. Moreover, you are remembered with a reputation & reliability attached to your name. Being valuable is more personal than interpersonal. Let’s get to it:
1. Keep Your Senses On:
People help when asked for, why not be a contributor even when not asked for? Identify problems and offer solutions to them. A man once entered a very prominent library of his city. As he proceeded to get his books listed for borrowing, he saw a very long queue before the listing counter. He noticed it wasn’t the staff’s issue but the process was entirely manual which required many details to be noted down, which required a lot of time and effort. He got in touch with the library authorities, received permission, and looked into getting all books labeled and registered in the system for easy access. This reduced the listing time to a minimal. Never has been there a queue that long again at that library. That man is still very warmly received by the keepers of the library.
2. Contribute to Solutions:
As goes the adage: A friend in need is a friend indeed, so is true for your connections. Identifying problems are easy than offering solutions, but you know which is more desirable. People are always looking for some form of help, assistance, and guidance. Get into the habit of providing your insights and offering a solution when somebody desires so. But of course, stay away from giving unsolicited advice, because that is most undesirable on the receiving end.
3. Little Things Matter:
From stopping by to say hello, or planning a lunch with colleagues, to checking up on the latest happenings in the life of your connections, all this builds a close-knit bond. How many of your connections have you checked onto during this pandemic? Have you asked how their business is running?
4. Be Honest & Communicate Clearly:
Stop running excuses where sincerity can work. You will not always be there for everyone. Everything you can do is trying your best. When you have higher priorities at hand it becomes essential to communicate to the other person that you were willing to help, but something else at hand demands immediate attention. Also, getting caught lying is the worst thing you can do to your relationship with people. They might forgive you, but the perception of you changes for a long long time.
5. Help People Grow:
The importance of this step can never be overstated. Nobody abandons a person whose companionship brings growth to them. May help a person set up his website, or educate people of the latest apps that can help them in some business, share the platforms where one can learn, etc.
6. Add Suggestions:
We all are at some of the other level familiar with the works of our peers, colleagues, and even strangers. Trust me, all of them are looking for improvement and growth that comes with it. If you have ideas, or you see their loopholes, address the issue with them. However, be sure you add suggestions, not stringent criticisms. There is a huge difference between feedback and criticism but when approached to give one, there’s only a fine line that defines if feedback will sound like one or will it sound like criticism. That can be taken care of based on how you phrase your feedback. Also, always remember, your feedback is a personal opinion which might or might not be a general opinion.
7. Appreciate Often:
Your friend has started a new venture and you like the idea behind it? Reach out and appreciate it. Your colleague has started a side hustle? Give her the best wishes and show your support if needed. Your former mentor is bringing together the latest technology to educate students? Tell him you feel this is great.
8. Personal Growth for Greater Growth:
You gotta be rich to give out wealth. Focus on your growth constantly. The higher your growth potential, the higher your value is for others. People realize this, today or tomorrow. If your personal growth is not your priority, there’s no way you can help others.
9. Gratitude & Humility:
Everything we accumulate within ourselves is derived from our surroundings. Feel grateful you got an opportunity to learn, and be grounded because you are not the only one learning. What use is holding value when nobody can reach you?
10. Go An Extra Mile:
Everybody loves feeling special or simply being attended to personally. If it weren’t for this, your favorite brands wouldn’t be sending you anniversary or birthday wishes, or wouldn’t be addressing you with your name in your mailbox. If you’re sharing a friend’s work, add a personal take on it. If your connection liked a product you’ve been using, ask her if you should get her one. Go one step ahead as long as it doesn’t hurt you.
But more than anything else, people need to know what you do. Inform people of your expertise, your side-hustle, opportunities you are looking for, and the hobbies you’d someday like to capitalize on. So that if not today, even a year or two from now they can reach out to you with some opportunity to work or asking for suggestions when they require. Being valuable is all about how much and to what finesse you can offer your value for building a symbiotic relationship, which profits both sides.